“I love software engineering!”
I wanted to begin this essay with that statement—and I did—but that statement is completely a lie! In fact, I did not start my journey in computer science out of love for software engineering, I started it with a passion for money, the slips featuring the number 100 and Benjamin Franklin.
It all began with a stereotype my parents held about classes: low-income people were doomed to struggle, while high-income people lived happier lives.
My parents worked many jobs that paid peanuts. They had been peasants earning $8 per hour, restaurant food preparers earning $12 per hour, and chocolate makers earning $15 per hour. These wages literally equal to the minimum wage at the time they worked, and barely covered the cost of living. Even now, my dad works as a blue-collar laborer, earning just slightly above minimum wage in an extremely exhausting job. They dreamed of having at least a stable living wage exchanged by moderate amount of work, but that require decent amount of education which they do not have.
They often envied white-collar workers who sat comfortably in offices, typing on keyboards and earning salaries of $8,000 or more per month. My parents dreamed that I could one day be one of those people. Since I had no desire to work in McDonald’s for the rest of my life, I agreed with them, and planned for college.
Not just programmer, there were many office jobs satisfying the stereotype of sitting in offices and typing on keyboards granting a stable high salary per month. And it does not have to be keyboard, paper works too, of course, except toilet paper and paper towel.
Considering my ability as a high school student at the time when I thought about this, I had many possibilities. I could be an artist that draws nice stuff, as I am good at drawing since a young age. I could be a math teacher that teaches algebra, as I am good at mathematics (compared to my high school peers). I could be a 3D modeler or animate producer, as I had already being using Blender for a few of my high school assignments, although it was not required. There were much more I could possibly dream of: a doctor that heals people, an accountant that deals with paperwork, a business guy that dresses in suit and carries contracts, a manager that plans everything, a laboratory scientist that studies marine biology and hangs out with fish all day long, a television news channel host that introduces local cultural activities, just to name a few. If you wonder why I chose to major in computer science as my first choice, it was because my older brother did. I just followed his footstep. His dream was to become a wealthy geek, or at least a wealthy guy.
I thought I had to switch my major many times before I could figure out what I want to study and do on the pathway of becoming rich. After all, it is exhausting to study something you dislike. I would be sad graduating with some random major, earning 2.0 GPA on a 4.0 scale, spending four years on true trash for me and probably the rest of my life in poverty, because my ability and passion might be weaker than a person who loved the major and studied hard. Why would an employer hire someone sad and insufficient in knowledge, while they could hire someone relatively happier and knowledgeable?
Fortunately, I was lucky, I discovered that I liked computer science, and hence I do not have to switch my major. I liked writing code, and I liked the feeling of accomplish something, such as making my program run perfectly. That was all the philosophy about it, but that straight forward, nice and good feeling was all it need for me to stick with computer science.
I have to be clear about what I mean I love software engineering was a lie. I do not hate software engineering, it was that I never experienced software engineering, so I have no reason to love it or hate it. It is the same thing for cyber security. I heard many of my peers in college said they like cyber security, and wanted to work a job in the field. However, for me, I know nothing about cyber security except its name, and thus claiming I love it or claiming I hate it would have no supporting reason or evidence, and would be more of dishonest.
If you wonder if I am interested in knowing more about software engineering, the answer is yes, easy and simple. I just began taking a class about it. Maybe I would like to know more about cyber security also, as well as other branches in computer science.
I could not make any statement about if I would be a software engineering in the future. There was still possibility that I hate it after I learn more about it, and maybe I was not smart enough to do it, and maybe I found something more interesting for me. What I already know was that I have interest in game development, because I liked playing games, and I wondered how could bugs in games that appear to be simple was not resolved during development phase. In the past, I had played a game where a fatal sound bug present for years, unresolved, and result in player lost. In fact, I had already developed a few very tiny games, consisting of no more than 1,000 lines of Python code, that you could find in my project webpage of this website, where you read this essay. If I had to say what kind of skill and experience I would like to develop in the future, right now, I would say the skill and experience of developing a large game, something like Grand Theft Auto V.
Note: ChatGPT was used to help revising this essay.